Sloppy Joe Armstrong

Rushing makes it easy to start over.

Mistakes were made on all fronts.

I have a terrible memory.


I put this down last summer because I felt there was some shoddy craftsmanship at play, but when my trusty fretless conked out on me at last weekend's gig I thought hey I should finish that tele I was building last summer. As it turns out, I probably should have let the sawdust bury it.

The intention  Last summer I was listening to a lot of Bill Frisell and Bill Kirchen which lead me to luthier Rick Kelly and his Bowery Pine Teles. I thought, I have all the parts to put together a bass, except the body, however I have a garage full of 2" x 2" pine—so why not build own?  And I did. The goal was to have a magneto fretless to compliment my piezo fretless.

Good things  Although I'm not real happy with the end result there are things that I like: 1. the graphite finish on the back plate and neck—pencil, hairspray and pledge (still in the experimental stage); 2. simple electronics (series/split/paralell switch, vol, kill switch)


Irksome things  that will bug me constantly: 1. the pickup is mounted to the left—the poles don't line up with the strings; 2. the bridge sits higher than a fender bridge so the neck is set too low; 3. the back plate makes the bass heavy; 4. the graphite finish rubs off a bit as you play; 5. the ƒ hole is sloppy; 6. the body's outline looks like a frumpy telecaster


The irksome things could probably be fixed, but I wonder if it's worth it… probably not. I learned some things and my trusty fretless seems to be trustworthy again—it was a worthwhile project.

Here are the specs on Billie, the Garage-caster:

Body: Pine
Pickups: Hong Kong Humbucker ($16)
Switching: Paralell/Split/Series
Controls: 1 Volume, Kill switch
Bridge: "Gibson Style" bridge

Neck: Maple with Ziricote/Zebrawood veneer
Fingerboard: Rosewood (fretless)
Scale length: 32"

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